Fifty Shades of...

Fifty Shades of Bay - A love story about two swimmers in San Francisco.

Fifty Shades of Clay - A love story between two sculptors.

Fifty Shades of Fey - A doomed love story about two clairvoyants.

Fifty Shades of Gay - A bisexual, transgender love story.

Fifty Shades of Hay - A love story between two horses.

Fifty Shades of Lay - A love story between a sex addict and a neurotic.

Fifty Shades of May - A love story set in France during the revolts of May '68.

Fifty Shades of Nay - An anti-love story.

Fifty Shades of Pay - A love story between rich men and a hooker.

Fifty Shades of Stay -  A story about a couple dealing with their impending divorce.

Fifty Shades of Way - A love story between a Buddhist and a Taoist.

Fifty Shades of Yah - A positive love story.

Man Deer and Drinking

This news item caught my eye:

Cops: Drunk tried driving hurt deer to NY hospital

But the comments were especially humorous:

He tried to buck the system. Instead, he'll have to cough up some doe.

He's gonna have to hoof it for awhile with that DUI sentence.

That's going to cost him a few bucks

It's nothing to fawn over.

Oh deer

Combined Movie Titles

Just for fun...

A Room With a View to a Kill - While staying in a nice hotel in Florence James Bond learns that he has been given the wrong room. He trades his room with a repressed Englishwoman who's father, it turns out, is at the center of a crime ring that is rigging horse races.

Blow Out of Africa - A movie sound effects technician working on a movie in Kenya unwittingly captures audio evidence of a famous woman author from Denmark who may or may not have something to do with a cocaine related murder.

Man Bites Dogma - A serial killer and his friend turn the camera on themselves and try to philosophize on how they can get into heaven after committing a bunch of atrocious murders.

Swing Time Bandits - A boy dancer enters a historical, fantasy, dream world where he encounters dwarfs and a fleet-footed dance teacher who helps him escape once he is pursued by evil characters.

Soviet humor

Here's the terrific opening scene from Boris Barnet's The House of Trubnaya Square. At once a humorous, realist, Soviet montage style scene.

The film too is wonderful and it can be seen in full here. [No subtitles for the intertitles but it is easy to follow]. It will also be released on a Soviet film collection DVD this week.

More on little known Russian director Boris Barnet here.

Monroe calling....

She looks as though she is on an invisble cell phone.

"Hello, Arthur..."

Mont Blanc vittles

There are four books from the 19th century that I could find that begin with the title:
"A Narrative Of An Ascent To The Summit Of Mont Blanc...." followed by the year of the climb. One is from 1821, two are from 1827 and one is from 1830.

In the book by John Auldjo [in 1827] he provides a list of the provisions he and his group of a half dozen or so took for the two day ascent. Suffice it to say these are not the freeze dried, high energy light-weight snacks one would take today.

Our stock consisted of the following articles: twenty bottles of vin ordinaire; one bottle of champagne; one bottle and a half of vinegar; two bottles of brandy; one bottle of sirop de vinaigre; two large pieces of veal; two large pieces of mutton; six sausages; sixteen chickens; two large fowls; several loaves of bread; six lemons; sugar; a large quantity of cheese; raisins and French plums.

Blonde Leather

From Blonde In Black Leather a schlocky Italian comedy with Claudia Cardinale Monica Vitti

Future Music

I love rare albums. I particularly like albums you can hear before they are released. But what about albums that won't be released for 14 years! Note the release date on this screen grab.

Something happened here but I'm not saying anything. I like future music.

Romantic Netflix

Netflix has recommendations. But half the time they are odd. For instance, I don't think they [or their algorithms] know what is or what is not a romantic film.

Besides this screen grab here are a few titles they recommend as romantic films based on my taste:

That Obscure Object of Desire
Secret Things
Talk to Her
Emmanuel 7
La Jetee
The Piano Teacher
Jerichow

Renoir on Nixon

I found this humorous anecdote in an article that Peter Bogdanovich wrote for The New York Observer a few years ago on a visit he had with Jean Renoir [and is wife Dido] one afternoon in Los Angeles.

One time, I brought my mother over to meet Jean and Dido. She was a great admirer of his work—as my artist father also had been. It was a lovely afternoon, sitting in the living room, sipping some white wine from antique sterling silver cups. At one point, while we were discussing dubbing of voices in movies, Jean said, “In a really civilized time, like the 12th century, a man who dubbed voices would be burned at the stake as a heretic for presuming that two souls can exist in one body!” Later, we got onto world politics and Nixon, who was still president then, and my mother remarked that Nixon’s gestures never seemed to fit with what he was saying. Everyone agreed. Suddenly, Jean called out to her: “Madame! I have it! Nixon is dubbed!” Renoir was as delighted with his conclusion as my mother was.

Ultrarunning comic

An old Tank McNamara strip I keep around.

demon sheep!

Mutton marketing!

It started with this political ad by Carly Fiorina, running in a CA Republican primary for Congress against a fellow Republican Tom Campbell.


[Longer version here]

Then the Democrats got on board and both parodied the ad and ran with it.

Miller on Hoffman

Arthur Miller gave a lecture on politics and the art of acting back in 2001. He had this to say about running into Dustin Hoffman on the street in 1966.

- I remember running into Dustin Hoffman on a rainy New York street some years ago; he had only a month earlier played the part of the Lomans' pale and nervous next door neighbor Bernard in a recording session with Lee Cobb of Death of Salesman. Now as he approached, counting the cracks in the sidewalk, hatless, his wet hair dripping, a worn coat collar turned up, I prepared to greet him thinking that with his bad skin, hawkish nose and adenoidal voice some brave friend really ought to tell him to go into another line, of work. As compassionately as possible I asked what he was doing now, and with a rather apologetic sigh he said, after several sniffles, "Well they want me for a movie." "Oh?" I felt relieved that he was not to collapse in front of me in a fit of depression, "what's the movie?"

"It's called 'The Graduate,' he said.

"Good part?"

"Well, yeah, I guess it's the lead."

In no time at all this half-drowned puppy would have millions of people at his feet all over the world. And once having ascended to power, so to speak, it became hard even for me to remember him when he was real. Not that he wasn't real, just that he was real plus. And the plus is the mystery of the patina, the glow that power paints on the human being.

Spiegelman does Peanuts

This is from the 2/19/00 issue of The New Yorker.

Jane Austin & Zombie attacks

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.

It was inevitable, right?

Check, mate?

"Hi I'm selling this DVD for $2,000.00 even though it is still in print and can be bought for $20.00 from other sellers."



Are these guys nuts or did one seller mistakenly price this DVD for $2,400.00 and another seller try to undercut him by a penny?
[Now if someone comes along to buy one of these then I guess the seller will be a genius]