Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Worst movie ever...

To qualify as one of the worst films of all time, several strict requirements must be met.
1) A truly awful movie must have started out with some expectation of not being awful.
2) An authentically bad movie has to be famous; it can't simply be an obscure student film about a boy who eats live rodents to impress dead girls.
3) The film cannot be a deliberate attempt to make the worst movie ever, as this is cheating.
4) The film must feature real movie stars, not jocks, bozos, has-beens or fleetingly famous media fabrications like [Paris] Hilton.
5) The film must generate a negative buzz long before it reaches cinemas; like the Black Plague or the Mongol invasions.
a] It must be an impending disaster of which there has been abundant advance warning.
b] It cannot simply appear out of nowhere.
c] It must, upon release, answer the question: could it possibly be as bad as everyone says it is?
6) To qualify as one of the worst movies ever made, a motion picture must induce a sense of dread in those who have seen it, a fear that they may one day be forced to watch the film again - and again - and again.

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